Learning Outcome #1 (Revision)
Reflection and Evidence
When looking back on my revision process, I felt paper one showed the most improvement. My first draft was littered with local spelling, grammar, and punctuation issues. One example of this was a sentence I wrote about Gay. Originally the sentence read: “yet although Gay is a feminist According to Gay’s own account, , she seems to suggest she is doing it “wrong.” There were a few local issues with this sentence, such as the double commas, repetitive use of the word “she,” and the repetition in the term “yet although.” I edited this sentence to its final form: “Although Gay is a feminist, society seems to suggest she is doing “feminism wrong.” Removing the errors and repetition made the sentence clearer and got my point across better. These revisions show my progress with flow and rhythm. My original sentence was choppy due to my local errors, yet I hadn’t noticed the lack of flow was an issue. However, once I learned how to write sentences the reader could easily read and understand, I was able to correct my wordiness and, thus, my flow. More challenging than the local, I was also introduced to global revisions. Global revisions are less error-based and more focused on the essential information and ideas within the piece. This was a type of revision that I had never been formally taught in high school, which caused some challenges. I realized that anywhere in my paper that felt incomplete or lacking required global revisions. One prominent example of this is seen in the first sentence of my paper. The original sentence reads: “Since the beginning of time, society has had a need for categorization. These generalizations helped our race thrive. We evolved to make fast, educated assumptions about our surroundings as a means to survive.” These sentences were repetitive and vague. To correct this, I combined and clarified the sentences: As a society, we have always needed to make fast-paced, educated assumptions about our surroundings as a means to survive.” These revisions show me that I am able to notice and correct holes and vagueness in my writing. In a sense, learning about these revisions made me self-aware. Overall, I feel my revision progress is evident through the comparison of my rough and final drafts.
